How to trample an internet troll and come out on top

By Chelsea Larsson

Published October 2, 2015
Last updated October 2, 2015

The relationship between an internet troll and their target is one of the most toxic relationships online. Trolls roam the web looking for a fight, and those that happen to fall prey to their tactics will soon find themselves in an impassioned argument in a public setting with a person they’ve never even met. Worst of all, once the argument catches fire, even more trolls eagerly join in. When one troll is successful, a mob is quick to follow.

If you’ve ever been too afraid of trolls to post your opinion online, then you know the terror these people spread. And if you’ve ever been a troll’s target, you’re probably familiar with the knee-jerk desire to clap back. But as great as it feels to troll on a troll, it’s usually a wasted effort because trolls are hell-bent on wreaking havoc. That said, it can feel just as bad to sit back and let it happen. If you find yourself the target of a troll attack and you’re inclined to fire your own word missiles, arm yourself with knowledge from the troll-trampling experts.

Let the following five celebrities show you how it’s done. Watch and learn how they managed to maintain their cool sense of humor and personal brand while simultaneously knocking these trolls out cold.

Warning: Trolls have limited, foul vocabularies that tend toward unnecessary cursing.

1. J.K.Rowling

Technique: make a witty suggestion

This famous author is no stranger to witty writing. Perhaps that’s why she’s an expert at banishing internet trolls with 140 characters or less.

Troll tweet:

“@jk_rowling @Matthew_Ireson Fuck off you Labour CUNT. All you lefties are finished in this country, especially you JK bitchface.”
— @sjosiah0

J.K. magic:

“.@sjosiah0 The Internet doesn’t just offer opportunities for misogynistic abuse, you know. Penis enlargers can also be bought discreetly.”

Relate Internet Trolls JK RowlingSource:

2. Janelle Monae

Technique: give them a gentle reminder that you don’t care

Her songs are epic and her style’s on fleek. Janelle knows who she is and what she likes—neither of those being an internet troll.

Troll tweet:

“@JanelleMonae girl stop being so soulful and be sexy. Tired of those dumba--suits … you fine but u too damn soulful man.” -@mellow_saa

Janelle FTW:

"@mellow_saa sit down. I'm not for male consumption."

Relate Internet Trolls J MonaeSource:

3. Mark Zuckerberg

Technique: let the facts speak for themselves

The creator of Facebook is no stranger to cantankerous comments. He put down this troll with the cold hard truth.

Troll post on FB:

“Facebook is giving everyone the ability to donate, but how much is Facebook donating ? ... this seems just marketing to me one more time.” - Pepe Pepe Pepe

Mark’s #clapback:

“'I personally donated $25 million and Facebook is spending millions more on providing Internet connectivity in the affected regions.” - Mark Zuckerberg

Mark Zuckerberg internet trollSource:

4. James Blunt

Technique: let'em know that life is good

Dare we say that the way James Blunt deals with Twitter trolls is...beautiful. With wit and humor as his weapons, James makes a habit of answering his online critics.

Troll tweet:

“James Blunt just has an annoying face and a highly irritating voice” -@hettjones

James with the jokes:

“And no mortgage. RT @hettjones: James Blunt just has an annoying face and a highly irritating voice”

Relate Internet Trolls James BluntSource:

5. Rihanna

Technique: trolls like to be in the limelight, give them extreme shade instead

All hail, Rhi-Rhi, queen of troll trampling. Shine a mean light on this pop star and she will throw back major shade.

Trolling via MTV:

“Yikes. @Rihanna’s marijuana photos from Coahella spark controversy:” - @MTV

Rihanna’s revenge:

“@MTV Yikes...@Rihanna ran out of fucks to give.”

Relate internet trolls RihannaSource: